the crazy thing thing
by Wandering outlaw
Summary: meet omega class 158, he's cool, smart, he's also the most crazy thing thing there is. watch as he goes from fighting random mercs to just ticking off his makers.


Kill,I Do it every day. To train, they tell me. Does traning need live rounds? Or freaking lasers for that matter? And just how the hell am I holding these guns anyway? I have no arms, or legs. Or a neck. And where do I put the clips? Or better yet, WHERE DO THE CLIPS COME FROM?! They just appear in the gun, like magic. What is magic anyway? I hear the guards outside my room say something about it. And why do I need guards anyway?

"158, please report to the testing chamber." The speaker in my room said, I sighed, then a thought came to me. I have no mouth, or a face, just two white upright ovals and black long spiky hair. that and a holster with a black coat. yes, fear my epic color scheme.

Damn, thats going to be bugging me all day.

If I make it that long, that is.

I slowy made my way to the testing room,taking a Beretta 92FS and a Thompson with me. (I swear this thing has a jaw jarring recoil.) "Hey doc." I said to the testing adismtior., I like to call him "Doc" bu you already know.

"158, please step into the testing room." He said, HE HAS NO MOUTH EITHER! WTF!

"Say the magic word!" I whined.

"Uhh.. I did say please."

"You did?"

He nods

"Uhh... YOU'LL NEVER TAKE ME ALIVE!" I yelled, running into the chamber at top speed, how I could do that with these two guns I will never know.

"Err... alright then, setting the room to house, large." The doc said into the speaker. setting up for the "training session" as they like to call it, I like to call it, "Death session" for the Mass amounts of death I bring."3..2..1 begin!" and with that, the session started.

I quickly put my awesome plan into action,

and it worked perfectly.

"AIEEEE!!!! BULLET BULLET BULLET! WHY ME? WHAT HAVE I DONE TO DESERVE THIS?!" I screamed at the top of my lungs, running though the house as fast as I can, with god knows how many mercs chasing after me. I turned around and fired some bullets at them, then after the 5th bullet, the gun jammed. "OH *** ME!" I yelled, then I got shot in the foot, which healed quickly. "Yes, I am inkillable you idiots! take this!" I fire more shots at them, only to have my gun blow up. "Uhh.. can't we talk about this?"

the mercs were giving me death glares.

-meanwhile at the observation room.-

"Why is 158 running around screaming like a little girl?" a random intern asked.

"Well, some one was reading deadpool digital comics online and when the data-banks where stored, some of it got transfered and well now..." a doctor replied, "Well... you get idea."

"Then how is it fighting so well?" the inturn asked, watching 158 dispatch one more merc with ease.

"Well it appears that one error makes 158 twice as deadly as any other test subject." the doc said, watching 158 dancing like an idiot over a pile of dead bodies, while getting shot.

"That makes no sense whatsoever."

the doctor looked at him

then pulled out a pistol

BLAM!

-back with 158-

ow ow bullet hurt ow ow. Okay, enough of this crap, I grabbed a nearby tavor and began firring at the mercs. I love this gun. huh? what was that noise? oh, it was just one of the doctors shooting a intern, silly intern. he should know better then to mouth off.

"Get the idiot!" one of the mercs yelled at his panthers, then shot me in the hand.

"_Oh no, Oh no, Oh no  
Yo Yo Yo  
Oh no you didn't  
Sucker tried to play me  
But you never paid me, Neva  
Oh no you didn't  
Payback is a' coming  
You will be runnin', foreva  
Oh no you didn't  
Until i get my vengeance  
I will never end this mayhem  
Oh no you didn't  
I'm a mercenary  
You ain't got a prayer, you owe MEEEEEE so now its over for you!"_I sang while shooting muiltple mercs in the mouth. Thats what they get for shooting me! and cause these guys owe me money! huh, maybe instead of shooting them, I should get them to pay me. hmm...

"Umm... sessions over 158." One of the doctors said

"Really? FREEDOM! _school's out forever!, schools out for summer!" _

"Uh, you're still going to be here for a little bit longer 158, or perhaps I should say, Ken?" the doc said, wait, ken? I get a name?! THIS IS THE BEST DAY EVER!

"YAY MY NAME IS KEN! FEAR KEN YOU SON OF GUNS!" I tuanted the dead mercs, oh yeah.

"Plesea go back to your chamber 158."

"MY NAME IS KEN, AND WHATS THE MAGIC WORD?!"

"NOW!"

"Alright, no need to yell." I said, leaving. freaking doctors thinking they can order me around. _"Its my liiffe, its now or never! I ain't gonna live forever, It's my life!" _I sang going down the halls saying hi to the gruads, the're so nice.

"Stay away from me you crazy idiot!"

"NOOO! NOT YOU AGAIN!"

"MOMMY! MAKE THIS CRAZY THING GO AWAY!"

the're so nice!

(disclamer: I own 158, or ken, the doctors, and a few of the mercs, but none of the songs are mine. why not? OH MY GOD ITS 158! RUN AWAY!)


End file.
